Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do vagina's smell?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
