He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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