You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We got so high we made milksteak
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
