cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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