until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
