Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Couch. On fire.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
