Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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