Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
