I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
