So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
