i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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