Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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