Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
