I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
