I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
