naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I love having hate sex.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
