So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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