i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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