In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
