I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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