aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Randomize