Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize