god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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