When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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