he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
