You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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