I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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