I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
