We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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