New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize