Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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