what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
