I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
