You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
