Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
