vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
