I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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