Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
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