If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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