Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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