Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She bit a glass in half.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
