He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
