i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
When did angry sex become our thing?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
