honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
