I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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