I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize