hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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