I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
