Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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