what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
