quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
