I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
