I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
