i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize