He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
