we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
