I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
