I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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