I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
