That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
